Yesterday morning (Tuesday, October 29th, 2013) my partner took their first dose of Estrogen and anti-androgens. So we’ve won that battle, and now we’re facing whatever estrogen may mean for my partner, and by extension, me. It doesn’t quite feel real to me yet, even after watching them take the first dose, we put so much emotion and energy into trying to get this prescription and now that they have it, it’s just a couple of pills twice a day and a whole lot of waiting. It’s  such a drastic change in pace from all the frenetic energy and phone calls and ups and downs that went into getting here.

My partner is both excited and nervous. They describe it kind of like packing up all of their worldly belongings and moving across the country to start working at their dream job. Sure, they’re excited, but they’re also leaving behind everyone and everything they’ve ever known and they are going somewhere where they don’t know anyone and they have no idea if things will work out, and that’s pretty scary.

My biggest worry is for my partner’s mental health. They have depression with suicidal thoughts and an anxiety disorder; I worry that the estrogen could make those things worse, but I also hope that it could make those things better. In spite of my worries, I’m excited, I think that this is a really good thing for my partner and I’m pretty confident that any problems we encounter will be things we can handle. Now all we have to do is wait.