Dr. Nerdlove: A Shout Out (Because He’s Kinda Awesome)

This, unfortunately, is a symptom of a wider, societal view that a woman is not allowed ownership of her own body. Women – by virtue of being women – are told that they have no right to control access or use of her body. We have no problem publicly trying to shame them for being “too fat” under the guise of “concern for her health” or dressed too provocatively or being too sexual. Women are subject to unwelcome attention, harassment and catcalls for the crime of being a woman in public.

So. This guy.

I read this article, “Creep shots and Predditors and Cat-calls, Oh My” (which the above quote is from) on his blog, which is primarily devoted to giving dating/relationship advice to nerds looking to get girlfriends. I was surprised to find that he’s actually pretty fucking awesome and fills the really important role of a het, cis man teaching other het, cis men about male privilege and how not to be shitty misogynistic douches. So, props to this guy, because he made my day!

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have allies who use their privilege as a megaphone to speak truth to power. It’s critical to have these people because very often they are the only ones who can get through to the demographic who’s privilege they share and who’s behavior it is most crucial to change in order to dismantle systems of oppression.

Some other awesome posts he’s written:

Nerds and Male Privilege

Nerds and Male Privilege Part 2

Don’t Be A Creeper

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things (Or More on Creepers)

On Labeling Women “Crazy”


This is a pretty good post for conveying to men how people without male privilege experience the effects of patriarchy, male privilege and rape culture on a personal day to day level.

Shapely Prose

Phaedra Starling is the pen name of a romance novelist and licensed private investigator living in small New York City apartment with two large dogs.  She practices Brazilian jiu-jitsu and makes world-class apricot muffins.

Gentlemen. Thank you for reading.

Let me start out by assuring you that I understand you are a good sort of person. You are kind to children and animals. You respect the elderly. You donate to charity. You tell jokes without laughing at your own punchlines. You respect women. You like women. In fact, you would really like to have a mutually respectful and loving sexual relationship with a woman. Unfortunately, you don’t yet know that woman—she isn’t working with you, nor have you been introduced through mutual friends or drawn to the same activities. So you must look further afield to encounter her.

So far, so good. Miss LonelyHearts, your humble instructor, approves. Human connection…

View original post 1,626 more words

Menstrual Cups

[TW: menstruation] though I feel like that should be obvious with the title…

So menstruation and methods of dealing with it are not things I usually write about because menstruation makes me highly dysphoric and I’d rather ignore it all together and pretend that it never happens to me. Funny enough, that just so happens to be why I’m writing this post.

I bought a menstrual cup, specifically a diva cup (these are available in some stores where I live and not just online) a little over a year ago and it has probably been the #1 best thing I have done for my dysphoria. I can go for 12 whole hours without having to worry or think about bleeding/spotting/leaking or changing anything out. I don’t have to carry around pads  or tampons as an inescapable marker of my gender, I don’t ever have to buy them again and I don’t have to worry about running out of them. I can be totally naked and you can’t tell I’m using it. Basically, I love it because it erases all of the stress and anxiety and allows me to pretend its not happening and before I know it, it’s over.

I guess I just wanted to put this out there because I know that there have to be other people who feel the way I do about menstruation and if this helps me it might help someone else.


Mooncup or MCUK

The Keeper


Racism. Also, Fuck Yeah Mona Eltahawy!

My commentary here: racist ad is racist, crazy white lady is racist, and Mona Eltahawy is SO FUCKING BOSS.  This is the kind of direct action we need to see more often in this country. She is my new idol I think.

A woman was arrested in Times Square station on Tuesday for defacing an advertisement that more than suggests that people of Arab descent are savages. Video below.

Mona Eltahawy, 45, was arrested on charges including criminal mischief and making graffiti after she used a can of pink spray paint to cover the words, “In a war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. ” The under text of the ad says, “Support Israel” and “Defeat Jihad” in red letters. The lone protester maintains her direct action was a form of “non-violent freedom of expression,” not vandalism.

Strangely, a lone counter-protester appeared to protect the racist ad by placing her body between it at the can of spray paint.

“Mona, do you think you have the right to do this?” said Pamela Hall, as she began to position her self in front of the ad.

“I do actually, I think this is freedom of expression, just as this is freedom of expression,” Eltahawy responded in a non-confrontational manner as she continued to spray over the woman’s shoulders.

The two person stand off continued for nearly three minutes before police arrived to instantly make their arrest. While one hand was already cuffed, Eltahawy repeatedly asked what she is being charged with, with out ever getting a response from the arresting officers.

“For what? Tell me what I’m under arrest for! I need to know what you’re arresting me for! It’s my right to know what you’re arresting me for, it is my right as a US citizen to know what you’re arresting me for,” Eltahawy voiced to the muted officers. “I’m expressing myself freely and I’ve hurt no one,” the protester says to a small applause by the growing crowd of on lookers.

Eltahawy continued to speak her mind as police walked her out of the area. “See this America? This is non-violent protest! This is what happens to non-violent protesters in America in 2012,” as some in the crowd audibly agree. “I’m Egyptian American, and I refuse hate and I will continue to non-violently protest hate and that is hate and racism,” she continued as the video ends.

The ads were approved by a federal court ruling on first amendment grounds after Pamela Geller, a leader of the group ’Stop Islamization of America‘ was denied her first request to post the ads by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. Geller reportedly paid $6,000 to have the anti-Arab ads up for one month.

Though Eltahawy acted alone in this attempt to erase racist propaganda, she was not alone over all. Since the ads debuted in 10 Manhattan stations on Monday, several have been defaced by like minded protesters. Multiple photos have been spread around social networking sites of similar actions.

The internet collective of activists known as ‘Anonymous’ has called for actions like this to occur where ever the racist ads pop up. @YourAnonNews, who has over 640,000 followers on Twitter tweeted, “#NYCsubway welcome to #OpSavage” with an image of a defaced ad early Tuesday morning.

via VIDEO: Woman Arrested for Defacing Racist Ad in New York Subway.

Click the link above and watch the video, the white lady trying to protect the ad is fucking wacko.